The Symbolism of

Tilak And Mithai

At Bhai Dooj

Quick Summary

You’d fight the world for your sibling but also fight with your sibling for the remote control – that’s just how this relationship works. And while there are countless moments in life to celebrate this special bond, a few festivals stand out. Like Bhai Dooj in Hinduism. Celebrated across India (and even Nepal), Bhai Dooj is a celebration of the bond between a brother and sister, marked with symbolic rituals, sweet desserts, and a beautiful ceremony. 

Deep Dive

The Diwali week is a week of festivals, starting with Dhanteras and ending with Bhai Dooj. While every day is a celebration for the entire family, the last day is particularly significant for brothers and sisters. This is because Bhai Dooj, also known by the names Bhai Deej, Yama Dwitya, Bhai Tilak, and others, is a festival designed to celebrate the bond between brothers and sisters. Two of the most essential parts of this celebration are feeding sweets to your brother and applying ta ilak on his forehead. But why is that? What’s the symbolism of the tilak and mithai in Bhai Dooj? Read ahead to know. 

The Importance of Tilak in Bhai Dooj

Before we dive into understanding the significance of a tilak in Bhai Dooj, let’s first understand what it is and why it is applied on the forehead during temple visits and Hindu ceremonies. 

What is a tilak?

Tilak is a religious forehead mark in Hinduism, applied vertically or as a small dot in the centre of the forehead. It’s a type of fine paste, often made from materials like sandalwood, vermillion, sacred ash, and turmeric. Different sects and regions may use different materials, and even the style of application can differ. 

As per Hindu culture, the tilak is applied at the point of the ajna chakra, considered to be a symbol of the spiritual or the third eye. As per ancient beliefs, the application helps intensify focus, intuition, and mental peace. Today, it’s considered to be a representation of a person’s devotion to the divine. Scientifically, some of the materials used to prepare a tilak (like sandalwood) provide a cooling effect to the body and promote overall well-being. 

Applying Tilak During Bhai Dooj

During the festival of Bhai Dooj, sisters apply a tilak on the foreheads of their brothers. Usually, the tilak is a combination of kumkum and rice, mixed with a tiny amount of Ganga jal (considered to be holy water) to help with the application. 

While variations exist between different regions of India in the material of the tilak and the style of application, applying the tilak is customary. Here’s why: 

A blessing for long life and fortune: The tilak is supposed to ward off the evil eye and protect the wearer from misfortune. Sisters apply the tilak to provide this protective blessing to their brothers. It’s also a prayer for long life. As per Hindu mythology, Yamuna was the sister of Yama, the God of Death. She applied a tilak on his forehead when he came to visit. Touched by her action, Yama proclaimed that any brother who received a similar blessing from his sister would lead a long life. An alternate origin story attributes it to Lord Krishna and his sister Subhadra. According to this legend, when Lord Krishna defeated a demon and returned victorious, Subhadra applied a tilak on his forehead, prompting sisters across the nation to do the same. 

Prosperity and spirituality: As already established, the placement of the tilak at the centre of the forehead signifies a spiritual connection. And it is supposed to promote peace. Rice, often placed on top of the vermilion, symbolizes prosperity and growth. 

Ultimately, the tilak is a tangible reflection of a sister’s prayer for her brother’s well-being. 

The Role of Mithai in Bhai Dooj

Who doesn’t like a little sweet surprise? But taste buds alone don’t determine the inclusion of mithai (Indian sweets) in Hindu ceremonies like Bhai Dooj. There’s deeper significance at play. 

• A sweet start: Desserts in religious ceremonies signify a sweet start. It could be the start of a new relationship or a mark to end all past bitterness. It’s why festivals like Holi and Diwali, and wedding ceremonies like roka, are marked by the exchange of sweets. 

  • In Bhai Dooj, both the brother and sister feed sweets to each other. This exchange symbolizes their loving and sweet bond. 

• Token of love, care, and respect: As an offering in religious ceremonies, mithais represent bounty, auspiciousness, and “sweetness” of the occasion. During Bhai Dooj, they also become a token of love, care, and respect. 

Common mithai served during Bhai Dooj

Some of the more popular traditional sweets served during Bhai Dooj are: 

• Gulab Jamun: Deep-fried milk balls that are soft to the touch and soaked in a sugar syrup

• Kaju Katli: A diamond-shaped sweet bar made from ground cashews and decorated with edible silver. Instead of kaju katli, other barfies (similar to fudge) made from milk or dry fruits might also be served. 

• Laddoo: A ball-shaped dessert made from dry fruit, nuts, and ghee, ladoo has many varieties (and each type has a loyal fan base). Popular options are Boondi Ladoo (fried chickpea flour pearls in syrup), Besan Ladoo (sweet balls made from gram flour), and Coconut Ladoo. 

• Jalebi: Deep-fried spiral-shaped sweets soaked in saffron-infused sugar syrup. They are usually crispy and can be thick or thin, depending on the style and speed of frying. 

• Rasmalai: Spongy cheese (paneer) discs soaked in a sweet milk-based syrup, and often garnished with saffron, almonds, and pistachios. 

• Gajar Halwa: One of the more popular homemade desserts that marks winters in North India, gajar halwa is made from grated carrots, milk, and sugar.

The Bhai Dooj Ceremony: Aarti, Tilak, & Mithai, Together

The ceremony of Bhai Dooj involves small rituals, starting with aarti and tilak, and ending with an exchange of sweets and, at times, presents. The tilak and mithai, together, represent holistic blessings. Together, they symbolise a sister’s prayer for her brother’s long and fortunate life. 

Their inclusion is also a nod to the origin of the festival. Because Subhadra didn’t just offer a tilak to her victorious brother, Lord Krishna. As per the legend, when Lord Krishna defeated the evil demon, Narakasura, he freed thousands of imprisoned women. Overjoyed by his actions, Subhadra welcomed him with an aarti (celebrating his victory), a tilak (a mark of blessing), flowers, and sweets (representing happiness). Since this is often considered to be the origin of the festival, the tilak and mithai are offered together even today. 

For The Love Of Siblings

As we grow up, life and responsibilities take over relationships. Festivals like Bhai Dooj are a way to rekindle the bond, and even enjoy a reunion - especially if siblings move far away from each other. The rituals add a layer of sanctity to the ceremony, reminding everyone of not just the joy but the sense of responsibility that siblings share towards each other.